On Thanksgiving Day 2015, I woke up and decided I wanted to learn to play the piano. By the first weekend of December I had purchased an extremely bougie digital piano, and had my first lesson. Everything piano-related had to happen IMMEDIATELY!
It is both exciting and humbling to learn to play an instrument as an adult. On the one hand, I have bigger hands and a fully developed brain, so certain things come quicker to me than my child counterparts. On the other hand, I also have at least 25 years worth of crippling self-doubt and perfectionism to contend with. Yay! So, in addition to being a cool new skill and way to express myself, piano has also been a fun (sometimes) way to push me out of my comfort zone. Little by little I am becoming better at being invested in what I am doing, but not beating myself up about it if I don’t play something at the level that I think I should play it. I am learning to meet myself where I am.
Here is a recording (pardon the sound quality) of a piece I have been working on for a month and some change. As I was recording myself, my nerves were definitely getting to me as I continued to strive for perfection. Each recording attempt got worse and worse due to the additional pressure I was putting on myself. After a while, it just got to be ridiculous. So, here is my first recording, mistakes and all. Though it is definitely not performance ready or where I want it to be musically, it is where I am. I am learning to be cool with it.
Compulsive Creation 