#quitting

I started learning a new piece, which I am going to tell y’all all about next week.

BUT FIRST, I needed to lay the Sonatina to rest. My prediction that I would be completely over that song by now proved very, very accurate. I am no longer playing it for my recital. In fact, I have stopped working on it completely. At first I was in my feelings about “quitting” but then I got over it because I learned A TON and conquered many of the hang-ups I had when I began the piece. So as a refresher, here is all my super helpful pre-Sonatina negative self-talk accompanied by my post-Sonatina epiphanies/realizations/lessons:

Pre-Sonatina: My fingers can’t move that fast and this piece is FULL of sixteenth notes.

Post-Sonatina: I can play sixteenth notes. My fingers sometimes don’t move as quickly as I want them to but I made A TON of progress.

 

Pre-Sonatina: It is a lot to memorize.

Post-Sonatina: I memorized it within a couple weeks. I never have trouble memorizing my songs so tbh I am not really sure why I was even trippin’ about this.

 

Pre-Sonatina: I won’t be able to perform it without messing it up.

Post-Sonatina: I chilled out on the whole perfectionist thing. I have performed it. I made mistakes. I kept playing. It was fine.

 

Pre-Sonatina: I won’t have the appropriate dynamic contrast or a steady tempo.

Post-Sonatina: Dynamics were lit. My tempo was a bit touch and go BUT me and the metronome got real cozy. So, I definitely made a ton of improvement in this area.

 

Pre-Sonatina: I won’t learn it in time.

Post-Sonatina: I learned it! It’s not performance ready (mostly cuz I stopped working on it BUT I could play it passably well in a pinch so I’m counting it as a win).

 

Pre-Sonatina: I will get so nervous that I will choke.

Post-Sonatina: I’ve performed this a few times. I didn’t choke. I have gotten good at playing through the nerves/mistakes. Pro-tip: Breathing helps.

 

Pre-Sonatina: This piece is completely beyond my ability.

Post-Sonatina: It wasn’t.

 

Pre-Sonatina: I am too whack to learn this.

Post-Sonatina: I mean, I’m obviously the bomb soooooooooo . . .

Working on this song helped me to tone down my perfectionism while simultaneously causing me to become more serious about various aspects of my playing (e.g. scales, finger exercises, and consistent tempo). I may revisit this piece again in a few months/years. As for right now, I’m good to lay it aside.