Compulsive Creation

Composition Frustrations and Goal

I have been taking theory and composition classes for about a month and some change. I talked about the theory aspect of my lessons here. Anyway, the composition part is what I am most jazzed about, but it is SO HARD because music is a language that I only kind of know. So, for me, the experience of writing music is similar to the experience of someone trying to write a hella deep French novel when they only know how to say “Bonjour.” It’s frustrating to not be able to articulate my musical ideas.

Another challenge I have been having is that it is difficult for me to be intentional about the music I write. At this point, because so much is guesswork for me, my melodies just kind of happen and I go with the flow on the keyboard. Now, while that method has its place, it makes it difficult to broaden my ideas and add layers to a song because I don’t really understand what I did in the first place.

Because of my limited knowledge, I am only able to write basic things. However, I want to write super dope things. My goal is to write beautiful and interesting music that ACTUAL, LEGIT musicians would be excited to play. For example, a music student at UT 3D printed a 6-stringed violin so that he could play a piece (read about it here). It was a project that took MONTHS, and he stuck with it because he wanted to play that piece so badly. I want someone to be THAT excited to play MY music. I’ve got a LONG way to go.

Handmade Valentines

Using watercolor to make valentines

So, my impulse was to start this blog with a long-winded rant on why I generally think Valentine’s Day is a consumer-holiday-of-the-worst-sort, all “buy me diamonds” and “Disney-taught-me-everything-I-need-to-know-about-healthy-adult-relationships” malarkey. But I think that sentence will do…

And given that every holiday is really just what you make of it, this year I decided to make my own handmade valentines to mail out. And as I created these cards, I felt the love and the joy that comes from using your own creative means to express how you feel to those most important to you. So, maybe there’s something to this day after all…

The valentine I watercolored for Claire

Above is Claire’s card, and I went with an old-timey silhouette portrait, because she loves OLD-TIMEY! This was also handy, as I’m still terrible at painting people’s features.

The valentine I watercolored for my mom

For my Mother’s card, I created a super textured background using many washes of gold metallic Finetec paint and some of my favorite grainy Greenleaf & Blueberry watercolors. Then I used a red pen to draw in the figures, which I actually went over again before sending off so they looked a bit better in the final version than they do here. But you get the idea!

The valentine I watercolored for the Huffaker clan

This card was made for the Huffaker clan: my dad, his wife Marie, and my brother Jordan. I used a waterproof pen to draw the heart design and then messed about with a mix of gold paint and various watercolor reds to create the background. I also used salt on this one to create an interesting texture.

The valentine I watercolored for Nicki's family

For my lovely friend Nicki I made the above. I used the waterproof pen to draw the figure and the outline of the heart-birds, then filled them in with watercolor. The background is a mix of the many of the same colors I used in my other valentines.

I made a valentine for my beau, but since it’s a long-running inside joke and you’d need to be us and in love with each other to appreciate it, I’m just not bothering to post it. Also, BJ’s birthday was occurring around this time, and I decided to paint her a card instead of having Brian buy one:

The card I watercolored for BJ's birthday

Clearly, I’m obsessed with this color scheme of reds, golds, and browns. And botanicals are not easy. But that’s what I felt compelled to make for BJ, who always loves flowers.

This series of projects inspired me to commit this year to making ALL my own cards to send out for birthdays, holidays, and celebrations of any kind. It’s amazing practice and it always helps to have a reason to paint. The blank page is less intimidating when you have a cause…

Hoping you all have a love-filled day!

Progress Report: Sonatine

So, I have been working on this piece for the past few weeks. You can read about and hear my humble beginnings here. I am able to play about 2/3 of the piece. I am using the word “play” VERY loosely. Basically, I am still trying to figure out what to do with my fingers. However, I am making progress and my teacher says that I am on track to perform it at the recital in June. However, she also says I need to focus on technique, musicality, and overall comfort with the piece. Essentially, I need to make it my own.

My first real performance opportunity will be a group performance class at the end of February. We will see how that goes. In the meantime, here is some more of my Sonatine. Full disclaimer: I edited out the more egregious mistakes using Audacity. Trust me, this is definitely an improvement.

Creatures of Paper

If you read my Christmas post, you’ll know that my partner Brian, when tasked with cutting out a paper snowflake, unexpectedly created the below reptilian-shaman-dancing-creature that’s been hanging on our wall long since the snowflakes have been removed. It will probably never be removed, firstly, because I love it so much and secondly, because I’m low-key terrified of it’s possible shamanic-reptilian magic…

Brian's original paper cutout creature: reptile-dancing-shaman

I’ve been wanting to try my hand at this creature-making myself, so this week I went out and bought two big sheets of lightweight paper and Brian and I tried to recreate the strange steps that caused him to end up with the above rather than a snowflake. Making strange creatures using paper and scissors

We cut and folded the paper just as you would to create a normal paper snowflake. Then, well we sort of just cut into it willy-nilly, only ensuring we didn’t cut through that one edge that holds it all together (also just like you would when making a snowflake).

Here’s Brian’s second creature, including two disembodied heads with Cheshire Cat smiles that had fallen off during the cutting:

Brian's second paper cutout creature: insect--many-headed-dancing-shaman

Here’s what my first cutting looked like before I began unfolding it:

Making strange creatures using paper and scissors

And here it is after I figured out how I wanted to tape it to the wall. This is also a very pivotal part of the creature-creation, as it will look very different depending on how you tape it up:

Jessie's first paper cutout creature: angel

For the piece below, I started with a smaller piece of paper and after taping it a bit I realized it could just stand up on its own:

Jessie's second paper cutout creature: standing dude

For my third piece, I started with a larger square of paper. This creature only became clear to me as I was taping it up, and it felt like I was just bringing out what wanted to be brought out from the chaos of the cut paper. It’s also possible that cutting out paper creatures had begun to make me lose my mind. Proceed with caution!

Jessie's third paper cutout creature: shaman owl

There really are no exact steps or do’s and don’t’s to this project. Each time I tried something a little different. And it’s a super cheap project as well: you just need paper, scissors, tape, and the willingness to look a little crazy when people come over to your house.

Beginning Again . . . Part II

So, the other back-to-basics thing I have been doing DILIGENT work on is practicing my scales. A scale is an “organized sequence of notes,” or, for the willy-nilly musicians among us, boring shit that you don’t feel like practicing.

HOWEVER, scales improve finger strength and dexterity, help with hand coordination, and improve intonation. They are also an easy way to practice proper hand position. Because law school gave me carpal tunnel (YAY!), I have to be very careful about how I treat my hands. It is incredibly important for me to develop my hand/finger strength and use the proper hand position when I play. Knowing this, I have only JUST started taking my scales seriously after two years of playing. The Internet (and my teacher) are definitely correct that practicing scales makes you a better musician. It’s only been about a month or so and I can already feel and hear an improvement.

Plus, for my new piece (Kuhlau’s Sonatine Op. 20 No.1) I HAVE to practice my scales to have any hope of playing it properly. This sonatina is from the Classical Period (1750ish-1820ish) of classical music. Music from this era requires a lot of precision. There are frequently a ton of notes and a ton of scales. No fudging. So, for the past few weeks I have been focusing heavily on the G-Major scale since there are several 16th note passages that are essentially the G-Major scale. It’s coming along.

Here is the G-Major scale with both hands together (my coordination is a tad wonky but you’ll get the picture) and then the right hand alone.

Here is the portion from Kuhlau that is essentially the G-Major scale but fancy.

Scales FTW!

Crochet: The Scarf

Believe it or not, my creative life isn’t just an endless obsession with all things watercolor. Ok, it mainly is, but as an aside, I also make a habit of putzing around with different crochet projects during the winter times. I’d never tried my hand at any textile artform before taking up the hook three years ago, and while I haven’t created an impressive body of yarnwork since that time, there have been scarves and hats.

Towards the end of last winter, I’d bought some gorgeous red merino wool yarn and it’d been sitting in a box ever since. But, the time came, after the holiday madness, when the yarn began bleating out to my heart “crochet me!”. Full disclosure: Since I’m hardly a passionate student of the craft of crochet, this is not the blog to read if you’re interested in taking it up yourself. My knowledge, skills, and experience are all limited–but I made a MAGNIFICENT scarf!

Here’s the almost finished project, just awaiting me to hide the loose yarn ends:

Ribbed Crochet Scarf

I followed a Youtube tutorial on how to crochet a ribbed scarf pattern, which creates more of a knitted or heart look to the stitches. I made mistakes, including one that I didn’t notice until I was nearly done that required I pull apart 75% of the work I’d completed to fix that one little stitch. I thought unhappy thoughts while pulling apart my work, but this is also one of the reasons I love crochet: it’s so forgiving when it comes to taking it apart. Simply pull on the end of the yarn and the whole thing unravels and returns to its original ball-of-yarn state.

Here’s a really lame gif I made all by myself to show this miracle of unraveling:

Here’s a close up on the pattern of stitches that make up my amazing and red and thick and warm and lovely scarf:

Ribbed Crochet Scarf Closeup

Wow, look how old-timey and functional we are with our creative projects this last week Claire!!!

Cross-stitching Magic

Someone in my family (don’t remember who) first taught me to to cross-stitch sometime in elementary school. Since then, cross-stitching has been a consistent presence in my life. The years have been full of cross-stitch projects started (and never finished) at my grandma’s house, sewing classes that always seem to start with a cross-stitch project, and cross-stitch gifts that my aunt gives us all every Christmas. I mean, she has been cross-stitching for literal decades and her cross-stitch game is truly on a whole other level of dopeness. So, this past weekend, I was feeling nostalgic at Joann Fabric and Crafts and grabbed myself this cross-stitch kit. I changed the colors to something with a little more pizzazz, asked my aunt some very preliminary questions, and then got started! Here are all my materials.

When cross-stitching, you stitch one color at a time. As you add more colors, the picture begins to take shape.

Maroon/Burgundy/Whatever

Pink

Yellow: I was VERY conflicted as I started to add the yellow. I knew the colors looked good together in life BUT I didn’t know if I liked how the yellow looked with the other colors in the picture. However, once I added all the yellow, I LOVED it!

Greens, Grey

Blue!

The last color I added was blue. I wasn’t really feeling the way the blue was in the pattern, so I followed my bliss and turned it from an accent color to a background extravaganza!

Here is a behind the scenes view of my beautiful rose.

I am really happy with the way it turned out! I am glad I took some creative liberties with the colors and pattern, though I thought the original pattern/colors were beautiful as well. Cross-stitch kits are cool because the kit tells you exactly what to do, and you can either follow the instructions, or not. Either way, you’ll end up with something cool and pretty and old-timey.

All told, it took me about 10-11 hours of pretty consistent stitching to complete this. Almost surprisingly, I really enjoyed working on it (though I totally understand why my younger self was absolutely not trying to cross-stitch). It got addicting watching the picture take shape with the addition of each color. I can’t wait to do another one!

Watercolor + Indian Ink

Last week I played around with Indian ink washes, and this week I painted over them, using watercolors to bring out the images I saw in the chaotic, grainy textures. This project was magical and weird, and forced my critical mind to take a backseat and let my imagination drive me right into a world of gnomes and forest fires, one-eyed owls and underwater worlds.

For contrast, I’ve shown the original ink washes first and then the picture I painted over them:

Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

Watercolor & Indian Ink

You can’t tell in this photo I took of the painting, but I used a metallic wash in the center area so that it glimmers and adds EVEN MORE MAGIC!!!

Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

Watercolor & Indian Ink

The blue wash above is the beautiful azurite paint I got from Greenleaf and Blueberry, and the graininess it leaves when it dries works so well with the Indian ink texture. This is a combination I’ll be playing with in the future.

Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

Watercolor & Indian Ink

The image of a forest fire blossomed before my eyes the moment I started to paint this one.

Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

Watercolor & Indian Ink

Above, I saw the tree tops and two foxes immediately when looking at the dried Indian ink. There’s also a hidden face and two little owls (one with only one eye, because that’s what I saw and we’re staying true to weirdness this week) that demanded to be painted in. The texture of this cold-press paper made the panting look even more diffused, almost blurry, which is a look I like here, but would not work well if I wanted crisp, clear details.

Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

Watercolor & Indian Ink

This is the last one I began, but couldn’t really see anything even as I added more colors, including a metallic gold wash. I’m going to let this one stew in my imagination and see if anything becomes clear. If not I might just keep adding washes, maybe even more Indian ink. The creation never ends!!!

This project allowed me to silence that critical voice in my head monologuing its stream of “what am I going to paint?” or “that’s a stupid idea, why would a unicorn head be sticking out of a tree?!” and gave me space to just paint what I felt compelled to paint. It’s a perfect balance of chaos and order, and also allowed me to work on my basic watercolor technique.

Be warned: You’ll be seeing more of this weirdness in future posts!

Beginning Again . . . Part I

Music theory is, according to Wikipedia, the study of “the practices and possibilities of music.” I love how they put this! Anyway, because music theory is essentially the language and rules of music, it is vital for any musician that gives AF.

During the past couple years of playing piano, I haven’t moved much beyond the VERY basic understanding of theory I gained 23 years ago as a lackluster violin student. I mean, now I know the notes on the bass clef (mostly . . . sometimes the bass clef is super tricky), but for the most part I have the theory knowledge of an elementary school student.

Over the past couple years of my piano journey, my lack of knowledge hasn’t really bothered me that much EXCEPT when my teacher would ask me a HELLA basic question (e.g. what key is this in?) and I’d be like, “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . music?” SMH. ANYWAY, I decided a month or so ago that I wanted to start composing music. Spoiler alert: you need to know theory to write music. I mean, obviously, you can write music without knowing theory, it’s just way harder and your song has a way higher chance of sucking. SO, I signed up for theory and composition lessons.

Now armed with this book and this book, I have started from the beginning. I thought it was going to be boring and redundant. However, as it turns out, I knew way less than I thought I did. Awesome.

The two best things about this so far are:

I am getting way more out of playing piano now that I understand more of what is going on in a piece.
My piano teacher’s face lit up when I told her I was taking theory lessons and that I got a book of scales, chords, and arpeggios. Seriously, she was so happy, y’all.

Here are some of the scintillating concepts I have been learning/relearning. Y’all can check my homework for this week.

Indian Ink Washes

There’s a chaos to watercolor that I love, an element of surprise every time that water and paint meet on paper. In past blogs I’ve experimented with different materials to increase the strange effects one can get in this fluid medium, but this week I’ve found a new favorite addition: Indian ink. The amazing watercolor artist Stephanie Law made a brief tutorial showing her discovery that a specific brand of Indian ink leaves behind grainy, beautiful, and endlessly unique textures when applied to watercolor paper. So, I purchased myself a bottle and spent this week experimenting.

India Ink

According to Law’s tutorial, the Windsor & Newton brand of Indian ink (pictured above) is the best one she’s found for getting the really lovely grainy effect from the ink wash, and it certainly worked for me.

Indian ink wash while wet

The basic method is this: you wet the desired areas of your paper with just water, then dip your brush into a mix of 1 part ink to 4 parts water and apply it to the wet ares. From here you can tilt the paper to allow the ink to disperse through the water. The effect is beautiful to watch, and you can begin to see the grains appearing immediately.

Here’s the dried result of the image above:

Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

I experimented with using the ink wash on both hot and cold press paper, and found both to work equally well.
Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

On this one below, I did a wash and then let it dry, then did another wash over the first layer. In the future I plan on adding layers upon layers to see what that ends up looking like. Applying a wash of water and then adding Indian ink creates a beautiful textured background to paint over

Looking at these ink wash creations I see images, creatures, whole scenes, so I plan on painting over these background washes and seeing if I can bring out some of what I’m seeing. I’ll share the results here next week!

I’m super appreciative to artists like Stephanie Law who are kind enough to share their discoveries and techniques, and she’s definitely worth supporting and learning from via her Patreon account if you’re a watercolorist.